“He’s obsessed with my racy past”

I am a woman in her late 20’s, and have a bit of a wild past with incidents of random hookups, with both men and women. My current partner found out about the hookups with a girl and even a threesome and now every time we have sex, despite me telling him it makes me uncomfortable, he asks for me to talk to him, and tell him about the hookups with girls and the threesomes.

I fear it is the only way he can cum and that he isn’t even thinking about me anymore. Now he also wants a threesome with another woman and I do no,t and it is causing a lot of tension. I have expressed to him why it makes me uncomfortable and the fears I have of it destroying our relationship. Even so, he pushes for it and throws it in my face when we fight. He also guilts me over it because “I’d do it for my ex, but not him”. He also calls me selfish for not fulfilling his fantasy due to my own emotions. Aside from this issue things are close to perfect. I do not know what to do.


“I cheated on a guy I wasn’t even dating”

Last week I met a guy (I’ll call him F) through a project in another city and I was fairly certain both of us had fallen in love. He told me I was the kind of girl he could love. The project ended and both of us went back to our hometowns, but because I have an aunt where he lives I said I’ll come visit after he was coming back from his family vacation. We were texting for a few days when he just stopped answering me. He wasn’t even “seeing” my messages on Facebook. I was confused because if he cared more for my feelings he would have explained, if not, we could have still slept together, things that didn’t happen until now.

I tried to let it go and a week after, I invited an old friend (let’s call him B) among others, to my house party. I told everyone they could spend the night, but he was the only one who stayed. We ended up sleeping together, even though we haven’t flirted all night but just because he was suddenly eager and I felt confident in just a hook up. Now I’m almost 100% percent sure he wants more.

But right now I just want to go to F’s home town and send him a message, or try to reach him even sooner. I feel like I cheated on him, because he referred to us as a couple back at the project, still he disappeared. And I need to tell B how things are before I reach F, but it feels like mission impossible. I might have been too nice by accident. I don’t mind ending up alone, I just want no one to get hurt and me and F to talk about us.

P.S. The only (good) reason I think F was ignoring me is because we study in different countries, I’m here just in the Summer. Still too confused he just stopped talking to me.

“I didn’t get much out of our hookup”

I met this guy in a dating app and we had good conversations, so we decided to hang out. I went to his place, we watched a show, cuddled, and later messed around a little bit. Lets just say that it was better for him than it was for me, which is fine. I decided not to stay the night.

The next morning I texted to see if he wanted to hang out again, but he said he didn’t think I would want to, because basically I didn’t get much out of our hookup (due to malfunctions on his end). I said that I didn’t mind because sometimes it’s just awkward the first time with someone. I’ve texted a few times since then but there’s been no reply. What’s up with this? Was it just a hookup?

“The women I date seem to think I only want a casual hookup”

Would definitely appreciate any insights you might have on the following dilemma!

As a bit of background, I’m a man in my late twenties, well educated, confident, and an all round good guy. I never had a whole lot of success with women as a younger man, but now that I I’m all grown up, I’ve been rather successful in courting, dating, and romancing women.

I do however have a very specific and seemingly unorthodox problem.

Conventional wisdom might suggest that expressions of physical intimacy are an indicator of a burgeoning relationship. However, on many occasions the more physically intimate I become with a woman I’m dating (over the course of the first few dates), the more reticence/resistance I encounter on subsequent dates when intimating or initiate intimacy.

If I can distill some of the feedback I’ve received from women, I get the impression that the ladies in question might sense a predictable ending to dates, and/or feel that the date was just a perfunctory prequel to intimacy, and/ or seem to be wanting something “more” on dates (whether that is more face time, more fun, or more of a connection, I don’t know), and/or that I just want to “hook up.” Continue reading