I dated a girl for two years several years ago. While we were different in a lot of ways, we always had fun together and got along really well. We broke up because I discovered that she had a lot of baggage from a previous relationship, and there was a lot of stuff that she wasn’t willing to trust me with. To this day, I still have no idea what some of these issues are.

Recently, though, we got back in touch (I admit it, I messaged her first). Well, now she wants to get back together and swears it will be different this time. I asked her how I’d know, since she had so many secrets before. I asked her if she’d tell me about all the stuff from her past, and she said that she would — but I would have to give her time.

But seriously, how much time does she need? Remember, we were together for two years.

Am I considering this because I’m lonely? Or maybe because I’m just comfortable with her? I’m not sure I trust her to be completely honest this time, but then again, it’s not like getting together means we’re getting married or anything. I’m pretty sure her baggage isn’t anything too traumatic, like abuse or anything. I think she’s just kind of a private person. Still, I’m not getting a good gut feeling on this right now.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can figure this one out? I emailed a friend of mine who recently went back to his ex-wife. She initiated the divorce, but then wanted him back, and he agreed to try again. I’m hoping he can give me some advice, but I’m not sure he’s comfortable doing that. How can I go about figuring something like this out? Or is there really no reasoning involved, and I just have to go with my gut feelings?

I’ve been dating this guy for almost two years now, and he has left me time and time again. He has told me that I have a mental disorder. I read up on it, and it seems that I could have anxiety, depression, or perhaps even be bipolar.

Last week, he told me that if I don’t get treated for it, then he is ready to leave me for good. I know he has done this many times before, but this time, he really seems serious. It also doesn’t help that I travel a lot for my work.

I have the potential to get a local job, so I can deal with the anxiety issues at home. It would be a small cut in pay, but nothing major, although it’s definitely not a job I’d rather have. I’ve been through a lot with my boyfriend and want to keep our relationship afloat. I have taken the steps to get in touch with a physician and am waiting for a call back so I can start treatment.

In the mean time, I’m just not sure if I’d be giving up too much for my boyfriend. Could someone please give me some advice on what I should do to deal with this?

I want to be specific, but also not sound too judgmental. What do you think:

She likes the adventure more than the destination. She would rather take a chance than wonder. She is intelligent, outgoing and spontaneous. She knows what she wants, but is open to try new things. She is smart and witty and likes to laugh. She is goofy and silly and likes to smile. She is confident and comfortable as herself. Someone who can laugh at herself and appreciates sarcasm and humor. Someone with a sharp sense of style with a down-to-earth view on life. She appreciates the small things in life. She likes good conversations and is passionate about her interests. She is kind, caring and compassionate.

How much is too much in a relationship? Do you have boundaries on the types of communication you use, topics discussed, etc.?

Sequins? Boobs? I’m not used to this sort of thing.

I’m just here to check things out. Not sure if I’ll actually meet anyone. I make a lot of enemies. Not something I take pride in, it’s just a fact. There is something about me that pisses people off. I guess I’m doing something right. I’d be pretty worried if I weren’t disturbing people.

I’m never bored, devoted to my family and spiritual practices. I’m a bit taoist in my leanings. I try to go with the flow, and let the change happen rather than begging some politician to change my life for me.

I am doing, my best. Trying to steer clear of optimism and pessimism. Trying to stay on the hook. Evolving.

I have light brown hair with blonde highlights. I have brown eyes. I have been a single mom for the last 3 years to my son who is 9. I have a rat terrier dog. I have a varity of hobbies. I will try almost anything once.

my job requires me to wear a suit (and i’m perfectly okay with wearing them) but i’m more of a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy. if i walk about work i’ll probably bore you to sleep within 8 minutes. but if you like law and order, you may find my job mildly interesting. i like to get to the gym at least 4-5 times a week so i don’t develop hyper-tension and/or diabetes. and i also do it to try and reach the unattainable goal of looking like brad pitt in fight club. (i mean b/c i like to stay healthy and fit).

in my free time i try to get outdoors as often as possible – beach in the summer, and the mountain in the winter. (i’m confined to a desk or inside windowless courtrooms during daylight hours most days so to prevent myself from becoming a rickets-ridden slouch of a human, i like to get sunlight and fresh air – more of a pragmatic consideration than a personal preference, although i do enjoy it as well). I love winter sports – i’ve been skiing since i was 5 and snowboarding since i was 14. thinking i may have to switch back to skis in my old age (a little easier on the joints). i enjoy watching and playing sports (football, golf, baseball) just kicking it with friends (yes, literally kicking things with friends, mostly homeless people) — (disclaimer: match.com and its affiliates, advertisers and subsidiaries do not support/advocate/espouse random acts of violence against the economically disadvantaged). also enjoy (at the risk of sounding horribly cliche) dining out and trying new restaurants. I’ve lived in Manhattan for 2 years and i begrudgingly admit i rarely leave my neighborhood (cause it’s so great and has everything i need!) – really do need to explore the city a bit more

Of resolving hurt feelings in a relationship? What do you do to get your partner to understand how you are upset? How do you try to make your partner feel better when you hurt their feelings?