5 months ago I started dating a guy from work, and it was a total dream come true. He’s smart, driven, mature, career started, and a nice change for my age group, a handy man. But I don’t know if it was the trust issues from my ex, or what, but I went though his phone this weekend and found out he had been using Tinder, and hookers (multiple) before he met me.
So here’s the issue, I’m the kinda girl that thinks Tinder is where dreams go to die. I have never, and will never hook up with anyone, and am really careful with STDs. I’ve made every guy I’ve been with, give me a signed doctors note saying they have been tested (way to shoot romance in the face right?)
I confronted him and he told me the truth and that he was ashamed, and just so lonely. He kinda told me about this stuff before I found it, so I gotta give him credit for that. But he did lie, and he only lied because he knew I would have left him if I found this out earlier. He had been single basically his whole life, and has a lot of family issues. Does that make it okay? Should I overlook this? Do people get a “ do over” button when they start a new relationship? He said that most people our age are like this and no matter what guy I’m with, he will have done similar things. so now what?
One thought on ““I found out he had used hookers””
Lets judge you on every single relationship you’ve had before you dated him. See how that feels? No you shouldn’t judge him on this, especially since you already got the doctor’s note for std clean. (I do applaud you on that however.) I would go for a std check up just in case, but I honestly that was in his past and your insecurities are what brought it out.
Also, shame on you for going through his phone. If he were the one asking, I would tell him to move on from you, because you have issues that you haven’t worked through and are taking them out on him. There is NOTHING that he can do to help you move past them. That takes counseling and you need it. It’s not ok to break someone’s privacy like that. That’s the beginning of a abusive relationship with you as the abuser.