We’ve all lived and learned. We have all had our share of good relationships, bad relationships and the ones that really just fall under the “learning experience” category. But with every relationship, some lesson is learned, right? So, tell us three pieces of love advice that everyone should know. If you were going to give your brother, sister, best friend, or complete stranger three things that they could really take to heart when it came to love…what would they be?
LemonVibe 
[1) Eat.
2) Drink.
3) Be merry.
[I really like a lot of this advice, the one thing I’d add though, something my good friend’s father told him about relationships, just to keep in mind, “shit gets weird.”
[1) If there’s fighting and drama within the first 6 months to a year of a relationship, it’s not the right one. That time should be the “honeymoon period” where you both are ecstatic to be with one another.
2) You can’t change who people are to suit your needs. Despite what the movies make us believe, there is no “fixing” a person to fit into your mold of whom you think he should be.
3) Don’t try to have a relationship with an addict. Unless the addict figures out for himself that he needs to work on his life, you can’t do it for him.
[1. Don’t lie about anything. It will only come back to bite you in the ass.
2. Never try to fix anyone. It’s not going to happen.
3. One way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but it’s easier if you just go Temple of Doom on him and rip it out straight through the chest.
[1. It’s okay to walk away. A failed relationship isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t mean that it was your fault. It doesn’t mean that it was the other person’s fault. It simply is.
2. Accidents happen. How you (and your partner) choose to react and handle them will show whether or not this is the kind of person you want in your corner for the rest of your life. And I’m not talking just pregnancies. I’m talking random accidents like the dog peed on the rug, the brakes went out on your car, a friend’s kid spilled chocolate milk on your white carpet (and white couch), a skateboarder ran into you on your daily jog and you broke your leg in 3 places, he broke his arm in a freak rollerblading accident. Any and all of those things can show you what kind of person you’re really dealing with.
3. Be honest and be yourself. They are so tied in with each other that they can’t be separated into two list items. Ever. If you aren’t being honest, you might be yourself (a liar), but if you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t being honest.
[1) As a general rule, rushing into anything is usually an unnecessary risk. The destination that you want to arrive at is that much sweeter if the journey there is prolonged by taking your time to look around at the nice, surprising details that you would have missed otherwise. If it can be reached, delayed gratification is much more satisfying than instant gratification. Become someone’s friend before someone’s lover. Become someone’s lover before someone’s parent. And for GOD’S sake, plant your feet firmly on second and third base before pushing on for home (I am specifically talking to you, men).
2) Address and dismantle small problems as they arise immediately or else they are going to quickly snowball into a giant cluster of fucks (and not the orgy-kind…).
3) If you are ever feeling doubt in the relationship that you are in, ask yourself “Are the bad times worth the good? How good IS the good?” And finally, “Is it within my powers (and worth the effort) to make the good better?”
[I have learned many things over the years, but I think this sums most of it up:
1. Love and respect yourself first. If you can add to that, great. But don’t buy in to the “two hearts become one.” You still need to be your own person, forever. And you need to respect yourself enough to walk away from a bad relationship.
2. Lust and love are two separate things. Lust will fade away. You better have a strong foundation to build that house on…and lust isn’t stable.
3. Communicate and be honest. Always and about everything.
[1) Respect is paramount and should permeate every aspect of the relationship. One *can* love without respect, but one cannot be happy without it – that’s how abusive relationships happen. So you need respect in order to have a healthy, happy relationship. Even when you fight, or disagree, you should be doing so in a respectful way, i.e. not insulting or yelling. When you have sex, you should be respectful, meaning you should always be mindful of the signals your partner is giving to make sure consent is still being given.
I just cannot emphasize this enough because I’ve seen the flip side and its devastation too many times. And this goes for ALL relationships, not just romantic ones.
2) If you stay together long enough, the relationship you have now and the person you are with now, will not be exactly the same in the future. Neither will you – it’s called aging.
For your relationship to have any chance of lasting, you have to be willing to adapt and work hard at building up your relationship because life’s unpredictability is constantly chipping away at it.
3) Everyone has negative qualities. Your partner will get on your goddamn nerves, and vice versa. But does his/her good attributes outshine the bad? That’s the key. You want to be happier more often than sad, mad, or aggravated.
[1. It’s okay to disagree, and it’s even okay to go through periods of time where you disagree pretty frequently, but always be respectful, and never insult the other person over disagreements.
2. Another one about fighting: Do it. It is so much better to have arguments than it is to bottle things up and end up resentful and passive-aggressive.
3. Be supportive of each other and your adventures. This is your only life to live, and your relationship shouldn’t hold you back. You shouldn’t make many rules about what you’re not allowed to do. You should allow your relationship to support your dreams. Expect a partner that helps you reach them, and be that partner for your loved one. (ie: for me this means that I’ll probably have to hike across the Gobi Desert, while my fiance will be willing to move somewhere for my dream job if I ever find it, etc.)
[Currently coming from a completely fresh break-up I would say:
1.) Love yourself. If you are not happy with who you are (in all aspects) then it will be difficult to accept other people; to love them. In the beginning of a relationship you should still be the number one priority in your life and you should take care of your personal needs first. Then as the relationship grows the two of you can begin to lean on one another and let your personal needs blend together where appropriate.
2.) Fights are going to happen eventually. When they do keep things fair. Don’t say things you don’t mean. Don’t speak out of anger. Try not to make personal attacks against the other person. Try not to go to bed angry.
3.) Communication is key. Talk to each other. Everyone is going to have their secrets, but this person should be the one who knows most of them.
[1. Don’t punch the clock with the time-card in your pants! That is to say, don’t date coworkers. Not only could it go bad and end someones career, but even going well you don’t have space, why would you want that?
2.If an 80 year-old man offers you money to elope with your partner, you take it! A wedding is the biggest party you’ll throw. But it also can cost 5 figures and more. My grandfather offered us $10,000 to run away and get married without the bullcrap. If we could do it again, holy shit would we take the money!
3. You don’t HAVE to love anybody! Except your kids. See, you choose to love somebody as a choice. That’s what makes a marriage special, you chose each other. Love of your children isn’t by choice, it’s a chemical reaction that your brain produces that keeps you from eating them. I guess my point is that you can give love to whomever you want. Or nobody at all if you choose.
[1) Know YOUR absolute needs and be sure to communicate them to your partner. If you don’t know them, ask yourself what you absolutely cannot live without in a relationship .. maybe it’s passion, maybe it’s honesty, family ties, etc ..
2) Be supportive and loving. I put them in the same spot because when you are loving, you support your partner no matter what, even if you think what they are doing is ridiculous. Of course this has obvious limits .. you shouldn’t support toxic habits like drugs, for example.
3) Have fun. Play around, joke around, totally be yourselves — relationships should be enjoyable. They won’t be 24/7 but they should be overall.