To text or not to text?

I seem to often find myself in the same situation over and over again and I’m wondering what the right thing to do is. Situation – girl meets boy, girl and boy exchange numbers, girl and boy go on date and date goes amazingily well. Few days go by and there’s no contact and then girl doesn’t know whether she should reach out or wait for boy to reach out. I know it sounds uncomplicated because truth is I have no problem reaching out but somehow it ends up with the boy not responding! What’s the deal here??

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9 thoughts on “To text or not to text?

  1. Eleanor Roosevelt says:

    [I think you’re fine to reach out once, maybe twice via text. If there’s still no word from him, then drop it – he obviously had a different takeaway from the date than you did, and that’s ok! Move on to the next one 🙂

  2. Claudia says:

    [He’s just not interested. You deserve to be with someone so interested in you that they want to contact you.

    Contacting first isn’t bad either, but just the once. Say you had a lovely time and keep it short. If he doesn’t respond, go out and meet a new and better boy.

  3. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [I’m cursed with always being an optimist and almost always giving people the benefit of the doubt.

    Boy may be busy. Lost Girl’s number. Lost his phone. Be taking bad advice from friends to wait 3-5 days before contacting Girl. Slipped into a coma. Became a creature of the night. The options are limitless.

    I would say that in this case Girl can reach out to boy if she did have a good time and would like to see him again.

    Personally, I would call over sending a text because people can always claim “I never got the text”; where leaving a voice mail is less likely to have an error.

    Keep it short and sweet. “Hey, had a good time the other night. Thank you again. Give me a call if you’d like to go out again.” Or even take it a step further and have a follow-up date in mind. Dinner. Local event. Etc.

    Now, here’s the thing…if he doesn’t get back to you. No call. No text. No nothing. Then forget him. Girl shouldn’t be too invested in the guy at this time so it’s not like it is going to be a major loss in the quality of life. Move on to the next Girl meets Boy situation and hopefully that guy won’t be as much as a flake.

    Of anything, hopefully he paid for the date and therefore Girl at least got a free night out.

  4. karlos says:

    [Text people in riddle form. That way they’ll always text back just to see what the answer was.

    “Hey I had fun today, guess what this text and our relationship have in common”
    “Hey I did too, what do they have in common”
    “I’ll tell you on our next date”

    If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what would.

  5. Happy Pants says:

    [I’m a firm believer in the simple “if s/he wants to text, s/he will” rule. Sure, there’s a chance he got eaten by an escaped alligator or got a sudden call to move to Moscow for a job, but chances are s/he either had a change of heart or just got busy and forgot (and probably won’t ever remember). But if you’re interested, text—just the once, and this goes for both guys and girls. After you send that first “reach-out” text, the same rule applies: if the recipient wants to reply, s/he will.

    Man, I really miss the days when we could just send notes with little “yes” and “no” boxes asking our crush to check off if they liked us or not.

  6. Dennis Hong says:

    [First off, I don’t think you’re gonna get much additional insight that hasn’t already been said. I can guarantee that the guy isn’t sitting around, waiting for you to text first. That’s not what guys do. If he doesn’t respond, he’s not interested.

    For what it’s worth (and sorry, because this is going to sound harsh), it may be that these dates that you believe went amazingly well weren’t regarded quite as highly by the guy. I can really only speak for myself here, but often times, if I’m on a first date, and I find that I’m not all that interested in her, I still try to be polite and keep the date as pleasant as possible. So, I just end up feigning interest and smiling and nodding along and basically being as agreeable a person as I can. I’d like to think that I have enough social skills to be fun on a date either way, so… could it be that you’re just dating guys who are good at dating, and that you’re misconstruing social grace on their part for romantic interest? Because that’s something that’s definitely happened to me before….

  7. resullins says:

    [I agree with the above… it’s totally fine and dandy to text once, but if he doesn’t respond, move on! Don’t be a clinger, don’t be needy. Plus, by not waiting for him to respond, you save time! Efficiency dating is awesome!

  8. Solstice says:

    [In my experience, the guy will get in touch the next day, or maybe the day after that, if he had a good time. If he doesn’t, then he’s not that interested and therefore not really worth your time.

  9. Sabrina says:

    [Never text a guy after the first date!!!!!! Wow ok, this probably doesn’t warrant a ton of exclamation marks. But seriously, don’t text him first.

    Here’s the thing, by texting a guy first, you’re giving off an aggressive and controlling vibe. Even if your text is super casual or a riddle, as Karlos suggested. Guys don’t like to be told what to do or to be prompted. If he’s into you, nothing will stop him from texting. Unless he has a crappy phone plan.

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