I’m in a relationship but one of my close guy friends let it slip he had a little crush on me a while back, while talking about his current crush. He had a crush on me a few years ago; I rejected him and I thought that’s what he was talking about.
Come to find out from another friend, it wasn’t a little crush, it’s been for the past year and he’s been not dating, waiting and hoping I’d break up with my boyfriend so he’d get his chance. Choice quote: “I think I won’t date until I’m 30, maybe she’ll be broken up with [BF] then.” His current age: 25. He went to pains to hide this and promised a friend to secrecy because he knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable spending as much time together (hanging out, watching movies, going running.)
So now I’m uncomfortable with continuing a close friendship with him. 1) He’s my neighbor 2) I’ve known him for six years. Do I tell my boyfriend about this? They’re friends and it would bother me if I didn’t mention it to my boyfriend, and he found out I had hidden it.
ETA: Edited to make it less confusing.
LemonVibe 
[How close of a friend is Friend A? Because my advice is going to depend on your answer.
If I were in your position, I wouldn’t tell my boyfriend, but I would say something to my friend. I would tell him point-blank that nothing is going to happen, and he needs to stop carrying a torch for me because I’m in a relationship I don’t see ending anytime soon. I would also suggest that if it’s easier for him to get over this whole situation by not hanging out for a while and cutting off contact, then that’s what should happen. I wouldn’t initiate contact with him, I wouldn’t hang out with him alone, I wouldn’t do anything to give him the slightest idea that feelings might be mutual.
It’s not only dishonest and pathetic, it’s also a little creepy, which is another reason I’d try to avoid this friend. As for friend B, I can understand why they wouldn’t say anything to you, and I probably wouldn’t be too mad about it. Besides, even if they’d told you earlier, what could you have done about it? You can’t control your friend’s feelings, and it’s not like friend B came across friend A’s plan to break up your relationship. That, in my opinion, would be something worth getting upset over.
TL;DR: take a break from friend A and make it extremely clear that it’s not going to happen. Don’t tell your boyfriend; it’ll just unnecessarily escalate things.
[Honestly, this blurb REALLY confused me. I’m ignoring all the Friend A – Friend B stuff, because I can’t make any sense of it. But I did get that you live next to a friend who has a crush on you, and you’re in a serious, long – distance relationship. You know your boyfriend better than anyone, but in my experience with long-distance relationships, it’s best to be open and honest about things like this. I can’t say for sure whether or not you and your friend should stop talking, because I don’t know what the rules of your relationship are.
With long – distance, these situations can get out of control quickly. Your boyfriend should hear about this from you before he hears from someone else that the guy you hang out with has a crush on you. He may end up wondering what all goes on when he’s not around, and because you live so close to this guy, your bf may even start questioning what goes on while you’re at home, or at your apartment’s swimming pool. I’m not saying that your boyfriend is jealous, because those things are very natural in long-distance. It’s best to take precautions to protect your relationship, and stay out of the drama!
[Yeah, sorry, I have to admit that I’m really confused by this blurb, too. From what I can pick up, I think the question you have to ask yourself is:
How good is your friendship with this guy?
If he’s been a friend for a long time, I guess you have a tougher decision. Either way, though, if he’s crushing on you this hard, I think your best option is just to distance yourself from him. You don’t have to cut him off completely, but I’d definitely avoid doing one-on-one activities with him.
[Hmmm. I don’t think that finding out that someone has a crush on you warrants a discussion about it with your boyfriend (especially since you don’t return the feelings). I feel like bringing it up with your boyfriend might make you feel more comfortable about the situation, but it might cause unnecessary angst on your boyfriend’s part.
I would definitely distance myself from the neighbor, though. Maintaining your friendship on the same level as before you found out about the crush might send mixed signals.
[I’d say a lot of it depends on how your bf handles news like this? If he’s the jealous type that would get really upset if you didn’t tell him and he found out later, you might be in a bind.
If he’s not the insane jealous type then I think you’d do more damage to your relationship by telling your BF that you’re hanging out with a guy who has the hots for you. It’s your business, and you should be able to clarify with crush boy that you are JUST FRIENDS.
As far as the secret crush thing goes… I think that kind of thing happens all the time. People have secret crushes on their friends that never come to fruition, and may even last long beyond marriage and kids and old age. My grandpa ended up randomly meeting up with his crush when he was 80 years old, long after both his wife and her husband had passed away.
I think they’re mostly harmless, but given the fact that crush boy is NOT dating because he is pining for you probably means he needs a few very well placed lines like “Isn’t it great how we can be JUST FRIENDS? My boyfriend doesn’t mind us hanging out because I’ve explained to him how I’m not attracted to you AT ALL.”
Since you’ve been friends for so long it would be nice if you could continue being friends, just shut down any ideas he has of it EVER turning into more than that. That’s something you have to portray convincingly, you would NEVER EVER date him in a million years, even if you were single, rich and had a 12 inch pianist.