So this one will be short and sweet (i’m normally good on the sweet part, but short is not really my thing) 🙂
Any-poodles!
I’ve got a lot of guy friends, and bathroom habits and happenings are a common topic. No problem. I make jokes about it, but never delve into MY habits or happenings.
Babe talks about it a lot as well. I cant STAND it!!! When he makes a comment regarding commode use, i turn so bright red i look like a cooked lobster! Its very, very VERY uncomfortable for me. And i’ve told him that rather often, and while it has gotten better, he still has to explain WHAT he was doing in the bathroom, instead of just saying ‘i was using the bathroom’, or use adjectives in regards to it. Peeing is not the issue, if i havent made that clear.
Any other females have this issue? Any males want to explain WHY they believe their live-in girlfriend needs to hear about their bowel movements??
LemonVibe 
[I never understood that one either and I’m a guy. My best guess is their moms praised them so much as children that they still expect that praise from others?
[Ive catalogued and sorted every bowel movement I’ve ever had. You guys are telling me that’s not normal?
[Is this in public that he talks about it, or just privately one on one with you?
If it’s just the two of you I recommend a really stern conversion about why it bothers you and please be considerate.
If it’s in public, talk about the most disgusting, bloody, bloaty, yeasty, urinary tract infectiony, PMSy women problems you can describe in as much detail you can. It doesn’t have to be real either, he won’t know. Describe some of the dismemberment stuff from the Saw franchise but strategically change some words to parts of the female genitals.
[My boyfriend does this too, and I’m not a fan. Some guys just like talking about the details, I guess, and don’t see it as being gross, like girls do – maybe they think it’s funny?
[Is it a warning or like bragging? Because if you’re getting upset by ” Oh, lovely, please forgive me, but the bathroom is a bit unsightly right now. You may want to take the febreeze with you.” Then you’re probably being irrational.
[I’m lemonvibing right now from the bathroom… Sorry, too much?
[I think a lot of guys still have that little boy inside who likes to gross people out. The more squeamish you get, the more of a kick he gets from seeing you squirm. Speaking of which, have I ever shown you all my booger collection?
[Let this go. He is being a little too open, but oh well. He feels safe enough with you to talk about these things, so take that as a good sign. My husband used to be open about “toilet talk” and I either laughed or didn’t react. So, now, it’s hardly ever brought up. Give it some time and I bet it will just run it’s course. And in all honesty…it CAN be kind of funny! Laugh it up!
[Personally, I look at my bathroom activities as outlets for my creativity and opportunities to expand my vocabulary. I mean, how often do I get to use the word “chateaubriand” unless I’m talking about steak? And don’t even get me started on period descriptions.
While the rule of being able to talk about the gross period stuff if you’re grossed out by the potty talk is good in theory, it only makes sense if you’re comfortable divulging that information, and he’s uncomfortable receiving it. If it really does bother you, I second the stern conversation idea. And if that doesn’t work, hide all the toilet paper.
[This could very well be a case of “boys will be boys”.
The potty-talk probably has to come down to the time and place he decided to share his little (or not so little) brown gems with you.
*In the privacy of your own home, just the two of you: Acceptable – for all intents and purposes
*At the table during Thanksgiving dinner with your entire family (including your grandma’s cat) – Not acceptable.
If he’s not taking pictures and sending you texts during work I’d say you’re lucky.
[Ugh… my boyfriend likes to discuss these things as well. I really don’t care if your meal last night burned coming out this morning! Yet if I say ANYTHING about my own habits, even if it’s simply that I’m having trouble, um, “delivering”…. he thinks it’s the grossest thing in the world.
This is an issue that will simply always be a double standard. Potty humor can be funny, but apparently mostly with guys.