Commitment.
Let me say it again. Commitment.
Does that word make your mind flash images of wedding ceremonies, anniversaries, children; a pleasant montage of your life to come? Or did you just run in fear like you just encountered a little girl named Reagan whose head turns 360 degrees and spits pea soup?
Gazing beyond the horizon and into the distant future can be quite daunting for some individuals, particularly when it comes to spending the rest of your life with a person (whether that be 20, 30, 40+ years).
What do you think makes a person afraid of commitment? A bad previous relationship? Are they too set in their own ways? Is there an intentional failure to compromise with their partner? Are their feelings fleeting? Are they afraid of losing those traits and characteristics that make them “whole” (such as personal hobbies, along time, etc.)?
Are they simply afraid of change?
How much should be expected from the other person in the relationship (the one who wants a commitment)?
What would be some clear signs to end things, despite their feelings? What type of accommodations can they make for their partner to possibly help sway their perspective in a more positive direction?
Is it better to fight or be patient and hope for the best?
LemonVibe 
[This is admittedly something I’ve never quite understood. I’ve never really had anything resembling a fear of commitment. When I think about being with my boyfriend “forever,” sometimes I get a little sad that I’ll never get that feeling of getting to know someone romantically for the first time or having any more “fun” like that, but it’s not something that I value more than my relationship.
Then again, I’m a girl. And we know it’s only guys who have a fear of commitment 😉
[I had a fear of commitment, until I met the person who made that go away…my husband. The fear of commitment is fear of knowing you might be wrong. What if you pick the wrong person and then you wind up stuck? What if you find the right person, but then you find someone even better? The fear of commitment is understandable. I truly feel that when you meet the right person you don’t fear commitment, because you know that it’s not going to be so bad hanging out with your best friend every day.
[Well said, lilredbmw. I think “fear of commitment” can also be an easy excuse to get out of a relationship that you’re just “not feeling,” but otherwise have no tangible reason to call off.
[I think there are many reasons why a person might have a fear of commitment. It could be as lilredbmw mentioned where a person is uncertain about the other, but it also could be a way to avoid getting hurt. That might be due to devastating breakups in the past, or it might be what an individual saw with parents or close loved ones. Sometimes it’s just a lack of maturity or being at a point in their life where putting someone else’s wants and needs as a priority isn’t something that they’re ready or willing to do.
As far as the other person – not the one afraid of the commitment – and when to continue hoping for a commitment or move on…that’s very unique to the person and the situation. Some people can still be happy without a certain level of commitment, but others cannot. That person just needs to be honest with themselves about what they want/need, and realistic about what the reasons for fearing commitment are for the other person, as well as how likely things will change.
[It totally depends on one’s definition of commitment. I don’t think marriage = commitment, in the same way that I don’t think NOT being married means that you are not committed to your relationship.
I keep hoping that my long term boyfriend will suck it up and propose – but if for some reason he never does, I don’t think that makes him any LESS committed to me than he is right now.
I think we tend to use “fear of commitment” as a catch-all to mean that our respective others aren’t doing what we want them to do.
[I agree with two that have been said above – I think it’s fear of being wrong, along with fear of getting hurt. If you don’t put yourself in the position to get hurt, then you avoid getting hurt, but it sure is a crappy way to go through life.
[Fear of commitment, in my experience, is the fear of not getting any sex- you know the old saying, once your married you never have sex. So, maybe it’s more “I am not sure you are the person I want to have sex with the rest of my life. Because if we end up not having sex anymore I better still want to put up with your s**t!”