During my days of online dating (like OKcupid and PletyofFish) there were plenty of occasions where someone would wink/poke/like/etc me and my profile. And that’s it. Nothing else.
With a simple click of a button I knew someone was interested in me but I was never sure if it was because they liked my picture(s), something I wrote or if they were simply trying to engage the Law of Averages and hope eventually one of the many “potentials” would write back to them.
It didn’t take long before I didn’t even bother showing any type of interest in them.
Winking/Poking/Liking/Etc. them back would serve no purpose other than an annoying volley back-and-forth.
Regardless of them being cute, or not, how do I know they don’t have a nervous twitch and accidentally clicked on my profile?
Why should I bother reading their profile, possibly wasting my time, if they didn’t even bother reading mine?
If you’re on a dating site you should be willing to write a small personal message to a person of interest. If you don’t have time at that particular moment bookmark their profile and come back to it later.
But put forth an effort. It got so bad that I occasionally sent sarcastic replies to them about how wonderful that took the time to categorize me like a generic brand of cereal found at Wal-Mart.
What are your standards regarding showing interest in someone when dating online? Are you guilty of not taking the time to write a personal message to someone you are interested in? If so, why? Are you a victim to the above situation plaguing the web? How do you deal with it?
LemonVibe 
[Goes to show, “to each his own.” If it bothers you, then obvioulsy this girl wasn’t a match for you. The right girl for you will take an effort to write a short message. In the past, I would read the person’s profile and then ask them a simple question to get the ball rolling. Example…the profile says you enjoy running, so I send a message stating that I enjoy running and ask where you like to run. Simple. Easy. Starts a conversation. It seems to me that if one is on a dating website, then one would want to date and not spend toms of time winking and poking and whatever else. Say hi and get the ball rolling, people!
[I think this situation is very different for guys and girls. I think a lot of girls do it as a way to play “coy,” since as a society, we’re raised to believe that men do the pursuing. So, she pokes or winks as a way to show interest without coming across as being too forward or aggressive. I actually don’t mind if a girl does this.
When guys do it, on the other hand, I think they’re just being spineless weenies (or saving time and playing the numbers, as you noted). I’m sure girls do this, too.
[This is what one of my guy friends likes to call “the shotgun method.”
[I think winks are cop-outs. And where do you go from there? I also always say, in real life, if you saw someone at a party, or across a restaurant would you “wink” at them? No way! So why do it on an online dating site. I think it’s better to send a brief note about why you are writing to them, and what you think you have in common. I do think some people do it as law of averages, while others might be too shy. Or worse yet, they are just extremely boring with nothing to say!
[I feel like it’s acceptable once, and only once, as an ice-breaker, so to speak. It’s like catching someone’s eye across the bar – I don’t think it’s necessary to immediately charge across the room and engage the person in conversation. You can kind of keep your eye on them for a little while, scope it out, then make a move when you’re comfortable.
[I HATED that. Totally agree with you! What good is a wink? Show that you spent some time reading the person’s profile and that you’re interested in them. Also bad are the messages that say “hey”, “yo beautiful” or “how are you?” No point to those either. People should be able to comment on at least one thing they find interesting in the person they’re writing to’s profile. I always made it a point to do that.
[Winking and poking is so three years ago.
[Girls have a different law of averages. Theirs is~ with endless incoming unsolicited mail there’s bound to be a few of interest. Although girls with particular tastes that the enthusiastic carpet bombers don’t match are more likely to go looking for themselves. That’s when they’ll wink you, but they still want you to prove consistency with their impression of your profile so they won’t write you first. If they write first they diminish their ability to judge your message because they’ve invested themselves and you’re more likely just answering. So you could say girls that write messages first are really interested and ones that wink are on the fence but have a favourable outlook.