I am single but really want to be in a relationship. The problem is, I have no idea how to meet new people. Going to bars hasn’t worked, all of my friends are married and seem to have nothing but married or otherwise unavailable friends, and there isn’t even anyone at work that I would remotely consider getting involved with. I am open to meeting people online, but just can’t figure out which sites are the best ones to meet people who will have similar interests and similar relationship goals. I am in my mid-thirties and the clock is ticking! Any advice out there?
LemonVibe 
[There’s always the popular match.com and eharmony. There are also singles activity groups in most cities, that organize outings/dances/whatnot for singles. LivingSocial has also started offering “adventures” – kayaking, hiking, climbing etc. And try meetup.com – there are groups for almost every interest you can think of!
[I’m a big fan of OkCupid…that’s where I met my husband! 🙂 I also have 2 friends that met their spouses on there, as well. Plus, it’s free!
Do you have any hobbies, or have interest in picking up a new one? Or would you have any volunteer opportunities in your area that would be of interest to you? There are lots of places to meet new people (including potential love interests) besides bars, as long as you’re keeping your eyes–and mind–open. 😉
[Aside from online dating, I would try expanding your social circle more and meeting friends of friends … of friends? (if that’s possible.) Like your friends might not have anyone available but maybe one of their coupled up friends do?
Or try to meet new people through the gym, hobby classes, or meetup and then meet their friends. If the clock is ticking, online dating would be where I’d go, though, since the other method takes a lot longer…
[In this day and age, people order groceries on line. They order clothing on-line. Why not order love on-line too. Match is great, Jdate is great if you are Jewish…but whatever you try, just TRY it. However, don’t put in your profile that your clock is ticking. That is a scary thing for men to hear! Best of luck!
Darcy
[Yeah I think online dating is probably your best bet – and if you’re looking for something serious, what’s great about sites like match.com and eharmony is that you can kind of state that up front, so you’re weeding out people who aren’t looking for the same thing.
I’m a big fan of meeting friends of friends – I’ve been set up by a few friends, and although there wasn’t an amazing connection every time, I met some nice people and had fun. And then, I met a friend of a friend and we hit it off and are now dating, so you never know what can happen!
[ONLINE!!!! Seriously, I know it sounds cheesy, but it doesn’t waste as much time, since you can omit people that you can tell are jerks, and get to pick and choose who YOU want to talk to.
The other best place would be to find a hobby… join a local softball team, or join the APA, or something… you’ll meet a lot of new people.
[Do the things you love because that’s where you will meet people who enjoy the same things as you. For instance, I am a triathlete. If I was single, I would join a triathlon club. Having a shared interest gives you something to bond over immediately, and then maybe it turns in to something romantic. I have met my share of guys online, but you really can’t beat doing it the old-fashioned way in my opinion. And keep in mind, that while you might want a relationship very badly, if you are wearing that on your sleeve you will end up looking desperate and that’s not attractive. Be open to new relationships, but also make sure you aren’t making that your soul purpose in life. You’ll find your “plus one.” Give it time.
[There’s always going to sites that some people swear by and others hate. However I can say the most populated dating places I’ve ever seen (as far as locals go) are the ones attached to facebook: Zoosk and ‘Are you interested’. With online dating, some people are naturals, some have no clue and some figure it out as they go along. Which ever one you might be pick a site and give it a go. You can always come back if you’re having trouble.
[My advice is to be a little more patient if you can manage to do so. Usually when people rush things (especially women), they don’t end up with the results they want. There is somebody out there for you, and you don’t necessarily have to resort to online dating to find them, or for them to find you, either.
Actually, the best places to meet compatible people are the ones you go to on a regular basis: supermarkets, bookstores, coffee shops, laundromats, etc.
My favorite, believe it or not, is the supermarket. It’s perfect for meeting interesting people because there is always a conversation starter. Simply make a comment or joke about what they are browsing at or what aisle you two are on, and build on that. I’ve met a surprising number of women in supermarkets, and two of which ended up in relationships . . . ones that I don’t regret at that.
The basis behind meeting people in these environments is that it’s fairly easy to make a connection and relate to another. After all, there is a reason that you’re there, and a reason that they’re there. So it’s not unlikely that you all will have something else in common too.
The main thing to remember is to be patient and be available. By available, I mean to look pleasing and approachable. Don’t walk around looking bitter. Smile. Speak when you make eye contact with someone. Little things like that make progressing a conversation much easier; and a good conversation could lead to an exchange of contact info, or even better, a request for a date!
[First, ask yourself “Why do I want to be in a relationship?”. Is it because you want to have children? Is it because you feel your life is not complete without a relationship? Are you looking for something different? To me, this is a sign that you’re not quite happy with your life right now, and need a change. I’m not sure that a relationship is the answer, as much as a change from routine is. If everyone you know is married or unavailable, branch out – go volunteer at that place that has always interested you, take classes to learn something new that you’ve always wanted to (dance, basket-weaving, small engine repair), look at meetup.com to find others that have similar interests, and just do!As Nate said, smile and talk to EVERYONE, not just those that interest you on an “attractive level”. – The little old lady waiting for her dry cleaning, the woman with the weird order you don’t understand at Starbucks (say hi, ask her what it is!), compliment a guy on his tie, ask a kid what the best Pop Tarts are. Just simple one sentence exchanges, and move on. You’re not expecting anything from it, but it will help you talk to those you are interested in. And you might make someone’s day!
[Get a part time job at a coffee shop. Sure fire way to meet people.
[I’m not for online dating. I think the best way is a hobby. Find a hobby you enjoy, (mine was going to local music events) and you will find other people (men and women, single and taken) who also enjoy it. Depending on your city, maybe a skiing group, or comedy sets, volunteer groups with the elderly, etc. And even if you dont find a man who interests you, maybe the lady who always orders the same drink as you at the club your favorite comedian presents at has a brother, coworker, friend, who may be interested. Just drop hints to the people around you. And if you enjoy the same activities as ‘Mary’, Mary’s close friend ‘Roger’ could very easily have similar likes, or gets along fantastically with people who have the same interests as Mary. And who knows, maybe Roger will be the new Mr. Annonymous.
[I don’t know if you are a man or a woman. Doesn’t matter in principle, just eliminates specifics.
Finding a hobby is really one example of a bigger philosophy; do stuff for yourself, not to find a mate. If you go into something looking for love you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself. That’s why going to a bar or club or Wallgreens or whatever looking for a date is stressful and for many unsuccessful. But going to an activity just for fun or personal betterment you get to, you know, do something fun and better yourself.
But more, you are having fun and project your best on others. No pressure looking for someone, you’re just trying to learn how to bake or whatever. This actually can make you more attractive to others too.