How much is too much in a relationship? Do you have boundaries on the types of communication you use, topics discussed, etc.?
How much is too much in a relationship? Do you have boundaries on the types of communication you use, topics discussed, etc.?
LemonVibe 
[I think it’s going to vary from relationship to relationship. I’ve had girlfriends I felt very comfortable telling everything about, and others… not so much. And while I’d say that it’s nice to have someone you feel like you can tell everything to, I still would’t necessarily that it’s a dealbreaker if you don’t have someone like that.
I think you and your specific partner simply have to define what works for you.
[I have no boundaries with Q. We can chat about politics AND religion, usually in the same conversation, and still love each other. However, he does roll his eyes and <facepalm> when I bring up marriage. Apparently I’m officially to the point of nagging.
[I think bodily functions could theoretically be left out of the information loop. 😉
My rule of thumb, which I should actually follow more often, is that there is often no such thing as TOO MUCH communication. Most relationship problems are based in one partner not communicating effectively with another. When in doubt, I would err on the side of more = better. If you cross the line, or if your partner is uncomfortable discussing certain things, all they have to do is say so (and same goes if you’re the one uncomfortable with the topic at hand). This is one of those trial by error situations, I feel.
[Like Dennis mentioned, it’s going to vary by relationship. Some couples talk about everything, and others only talk on an “as needed” basis about anything more than superficial. Generally, anything that isn’t disrespectful to your partner should be allowable. Some topics may be difficult to bring up, but those can usually be handled with sensitivity and tact.
Poor communication is one of the (and some studies report it is “the”) most common reasons that couples breakup, so issues with communication may not bode well for the longevity of the relationship. However, it’s not just lack of communication, but discussing a topic ad nauseum can be just as damaging.
[I definitely err on the side of overcommunication. I used to be much worse, but after realizing that 1) a conversation will sometimes NOT fix things and even can make it worse 2) it’s more helpful to pick battles that are truly important, I’m happier.
I can’t think of any boundaries. My boyfriend and I discuss anything, really, and we’re both naturally chatty so that works well.
[I have gentle boundaries. For instance, I talking about exes is fine. And while it’s fine if he misses some physical aspect of girls in his past, I don’t particularly want to hear about it.
But I would consider it dealbreaker if I couldn’t discuss a general topic (Religion, politics, faith, sex, philosophy, science, etc) with someone. Unless of course there was something in their past that made it difficult for them to discuss a particular topic.
[I’m a naturally unserious person, so although any topic is fine, I’m probably not the best person to discuss politics or religion with. I feel a far greater dividing issue, that few people admit to, is that of favourite movies, songs and Tv shows, which should be the first thing discussed by any couple. You can convert your religion or change how you vote, you can’t stop Star Wars from being your favourite movie.
However the deal breaker for me is discussion of exes, I see each new relationship as exactly that, a new relationship, independant from any other. The only time exes should be mentioned by either party is discussing how you’re vastlty superior to them in every way.
[All relationships are different, so this is a tough one. In my experience I have found when there are boundaries on my relationships, they haven’t worked out. I think this is because I am someone who thrives on communication. I don’t want to feel any topic is off limits. Hey, if it exists or has existed it’s on the table for discussion. It’s no fun to want to discuss something and then think, “Oh, but THAT topic is out of bounds.”