“Am I acting out of place?”

When I came home after a long Sunday out, I asked my mom about my pet’s vet visit and every time I spoke, my sister sighed. My other cat has cancer and my mom said that every time me and my sister are home we have to take care of her and that I just can’t be going out. But I told her that the only times I went out during the week were to work or to get driving lessons. My sister sighed again.

When I went to see my kitty with cancer I saw that her post-surgery cone was put on with the clip half way in the loop so soon to fall off, and with the clip out the outside instead of the inside so part of the cone angled out, getting caught on objects, and that the string that tied it was untied. I asked my mom who tied it in an angry voice and my sister said to my mom that she will never help with my sick cat again. I felt really angry at this point that she would think about protecting her pride instead of caring for our cat that has about 1-3 months left to live. I told her her that it’s not about her ego but about caring for the dying cat with compassion. I don’t know if I was out of place here. She then started to swear profusely at me, and my mom came to me and said my name a few times with exhaustion, telling me to stop triggering my sister, basically.

Every time my sister does something wrong, I get disciplined. I tried talking to my mom about this but she walks away and tells me to take care of the cat and makes me feel guilty for bringing it up. At the same time she spends time with my sister, listening to her complaints about her poor physical health. I feel really frustrated. Am I being crazy? Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy and I’m not sure how to deal with my mom and sister. They really want me to be considerate of them…listen to their complaints, but when I start to show emotions, they walk away or roll their eyes. How do I deal with this situation? Thanks for reading. Feeling kind of hopeless, sad and confused.

2 thoughts on ““Am I acting out of place?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    It sounds like they have bigger things that they are dealing with right now. Yes, your cat is sick and you love her. Yes, you may be acting a bit too dramatic and yes, it is frustrating to you all.

    Who is paying for the animal’s treatment? Who is taking care of you and your sister? If both answers are your mom then try to see it from her eyes. She’s got two possibly over dramatic daughters, bills, work and a dying cat to take care of. That’s a lot. Take care of the cat, don’t trigger your sister, and move out when you can to take some of the burden off of your mother. She’s beyond her limit now and only human.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Yeah… as someone in the Mom’s place I have to agree with the first person. Also, considering one of the daughters is sick or in ill health (which I might add is conveniently left out of what her ill health is so if she’s really hurting this makes you sound like you’re trying to pick a fight for attention), the cat is just one more thing.

    It’s your responsibility to take care of it, so try and breath deep when something happens and think before you speak. Also since you are working, maybe help out with the finances more or around the house since you’re not in ill health.

    As for your sister, the best thing I can tell you is avoid talking to her other than politely. I don’t mean passive aggressively. She’s obviously under stress/duress as well, so don’t add to that if you can. It is hard being the healthy sibling, but now you’re going to have to mature much faster than you would have to get through this.

    Google yoga stress breathing to help you through this rough time. Hug people if you need it and vent to your friends.

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