I just feel so alone lately. I’ve had issues with depression and anxiety the majority of my life, and I’m sure that plays a factor in the way I’m feeling, but I kind of have just lost hope in people. I don’t feel close to my friends anymore and anytime I have tried to reach out I haven’t really gotten a response.
I so desperately want to just go somewhere new and start over, but I can’t. I mean, I’m a senior in high school, so I guess next year I will for college, but I have a while to get through before that. I don’t live in a very big town, it’s not easy for me to just go out and make new friends. I feel like lately my anxiety has gotten bad enough that it’s hard to talk around even my close friends. I hate everything I say and feel stupid for saying anything. I’m not close with my family either, I have a really bad relationship with my mom and am not close with my siblings. I just don’t want to do this, or be this way. I don’t think anyone cares about me.
LemonVibe 
First off, if you know that you suffer from clinical anxiety or depression, I do suggest seeing a therapist, as they can recommend you to a psychiatrist to see if meds will help.
As for feeling alone and connecting with others — one thing I’ve realized is that you have to be proactive about it. If you tend to hang out by yourself, other people will notice that, and they’ll feel like you want to be left alone, so they’ll leave you alone. For this reason, if you don’t want to feel alone, you have to take the initiative and reach out to others.
Now, I get that it’s hard to motivate yourself to do that sometimes. Especially if you’re feeling isolated and insecure about your ability to make friends in the first place, the last thing you want to do is drag yourself out.
Having said that, instead of focusing on trying to make friends, are there any hobbies or activities that you’re into? If so, maybe you can look into joining a club for said hobby or activity. If you have something in common that you already share when meeting new people, it makes it so much easier to connect and relate to them.
Plus, if you feel like you say awkward things, then if you find a common activity to engage in with other people, you don’t have to worry as much about having to find witty things to say all the time.
I hope that helps!
I feel similarly. I don’t think I’m depressed, but I feel stuck. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost and ended friendships (at this point I only have maybe three people I consider to be friends). I feel stuck in my relationship, I feel so unconnected from my family, and I crave something so different in nearly every part of my life. I know that at some point, I can and will change things for myself, so I accept the mediocrity of my current situation. I also recognize that much of the distance between myself and others is largely a result of my continuing to push people away, and I almost actually prefer it that way.
Where we differ is that you don’t want to be alone, and you also have a psychological component. I agree with Dennis in that true depression and anxiety issues are something that should be medically addressed – it can be very difficult to overcome real clinical conditions otherwise. I completely understand that it can be difficult to put yourself out there in fear of the response you’ll get, but you have to try not to sweat the small stuff. A simple, “Hey, how’s it going?” “If you’re free this day, do you want to get together?” I’m a very no-hassle person, so my favourite thing to do with the few friends I have is to lounge around, watch movies, eat stuff and just talk. Most people wouldn’t be opposed to a low-key hangout.
High school can be a really difficult and confusing time, but I always had at least one person to fall back on. I hope one of your friends is that person for you.
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