Dating-if I am the only one asking questions, does that mean he’s not interested?

I’m currently online dating and have “met” about 4-5 men and have exchanged texts and so forth. It seems to me there is a trend where I’m the one asking all of the questions or starting the text threads. I would normally blow these men off, but they answer quickly and provide interesting if not funny comments. They just don’t seem to reciprocate and then I feel awkward. I don’t want to continue on if someone isn’t interesting, but I feel like I’m getting mixed signals. Is this just a “man thing” or am I doing something wrong.

5 thoughts on “Dating-if I am the only one asking questions, does that mean he’s not interested?

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [This is one of those questions I’m reluctant to set a hard-and-fast rule to.

    Is it a ringing endorsement of his interest?


    Is it definitive proof that he’s not interested?

    That’s hard to say.

    He might be trying to play it cool and not come across as too eager. He might be socially awkward. He might be kind of self-centered. Or, he might not be all that into you. Honestly, it depends on each individual guy, so in itself, it’s just not clear enough an indication one way or the other.

    Instead, I think a more obvious giveaway is, does he actually seem like he wants to hang out with you? Or does he seem more interested in texting back and forth for an indeterminate amount of time?

    If he’s a great texter, but he never follows through with actually setting up a date, then that’s a much stronger hint that he’s not interested. On the other hand, if you are going out on dates with these guys, and you’re having a good time with them, but they don’t seem too keen on asking you questions via text, then I wouldn’t worry about it as much. Maybe they’re just not big on texting.

    Either way, the important question is, are these guys making an attempt to see you? To me, that’s what you should be concerned about.

  2. resullins says:

    [Someone once told me that men are simple creatures. And it’s taken me quite some time to realize just how true that is. Most of them DO have to be prompted to make the effort until they’re really involved. They’re not going to ask you how your day was because they’re not invested in your life yet. They may be sitting at home thinking about you… but it will just never cross their minds to make that first effort, that’s all on you, dear.

    I will agree with Dennis up there though, that if they don’t make an effort to see you, cut bait and walk away. Mention something about wanting to grab a drink and see what transpires.

  3. Single1 says:

    [Thanks to both of you for your points of view. Intuitively I think I understood both points of view, but is not easy to put into practice without someone else telling me :). I know this may be a silly question, but I’m 36 and didn’t really start dating until a couple years ago (married young). Is it too forward for a woman to ask the man to grab a drink, etc? I’ve had a difficult time with the modern vs old fashion way of thinking especially since my target demographic is my age to 10 years older.

    • Matt Sanchelli says:

      [Since Dennis and Res seem to have covered your initial question pretty darned well, I can at least try to chime in here without providing broken-record advice.

      These days (21st Century, etc.) it is definitely NOT too forward for you to ask a a guy to grab a drink. There are still those “purists” who claim that all men still want the chase and you can’t initiate, but most guys worth their grain-of-salt are going be glad you took initiative.

      We like to be asked out. It’s nice to have that occasional break from having to do the asking all the time.

      If you are messaging, text, whatever, with a guy and you want to meet and go out on a date; ask him. If that rapport is there, why delay?

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