“I feel guilty for making a list of all the horrible things she said”

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I have a situation that is making me feel so guilty and I would love to have someone else’s opinion as it is keeping me up at night .

Basically, I have a friend who was very horrible to me last year. She would constantly give me soy comments about how my hair made me look , my legs and weight and lots of other criticisms, I told my closest friends about the situations and they all said I should stand up to her. But what I feel guilty about is making a list of all the horrible things she had said to me . I shared this list with my friends and they all said the situation was bad. This friend has since apologized in the new year and I have forgiven her. Will my closest friends think I am two faced for talking about the awful things she said to me and even making a list now that I am friends with her again?? Thank you so much for any advice.

 

 

“He hasn’t been the same since leaving the army”

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I’m married and my husband was just discharged from the army for attempting suicide in basic. We moved in with his parents. I’m scared he’s cheating on me or isn’t in love with me. He always goes in to work early or stays late. Once he came back late smelling like perfume. Always agitated. Emotionally absent – does nothing if I cry. Always hides his phone. We used to fight a lot but now it’s just silence. I know he’s depressed and upset at himself for “yet another failure “, but I can’t tell if it’s just him or us or me.

 

“Is it considered sexual assault?”

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This might get a bit long but I had a fwb relationship with someone I got along with fairly well this past summer. We had a fight over something insignificant but he stopped talking to me without any explanation. I tried to make up with him but he just never talked to me. I hadn’t seen him in 5 months and I felt like he threw me away. He was sometimes really selfish and he would never reciprocate in the bedroom or bother to think about how I was feeling and often complained that I took up space in his single bed. He also made mean comments towards the end of the relationship.

Two days ago he suddenly messaged me telling me he was feeling awful. He got rejected by a girl. We ended up having a deep talk about how he relied too much on women to ease his loneliness for a while and he acknowledged that he caused me a lot of pain. However he said the reason he stopped talking to me wasn’t the fight, it was because he saw my flaws and thought I was really annoying. However, right after saying that he asked me to comfort him and to come to his house the next day. I was worried about him so I did.

Our mutual friend was with us and the three of us had fun drinking together. The friend went home and I stayed at his house. I wasn’t expecting sex, he had just said he relied too much on women, but in the end that was what happened. Now the real problem comes in: technically I am a virgin. I cannot insert anything without a ton of pain so I work around it with mostly only doing foreplay. He tried to get inside me, which at first I didn’t mind because I was hoping maybe it would be ok this time. It hurt so much I was ready to cry and I told him to stop, but for a while he wouldn’t. He eventually did but everything he did was way too rough with me and he would ignore the pain I was in and eventually he would try again. It felt like it was only about his pleasure and none of mine. He wouldn’t even look at me or kiss me. He asked me to turn off the lights. I really don’t know what to make of it or what to do…do I talk to him about it? I know what he did was wrong but is it considered sexual assault? I’m feeling very lost here.

 

“I think I want to be more than friends”

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I started talking to this guy from my college like one and a half months ago, I barely knew him and never ever talked to him before, but it felt great texting and talking to him online. The very first day we kept talking for long and had even assigned ‘bye signs’ for each other on fb. He is an introvert and I was the only girl he talked to for so long.

The first month, since we were home, we only talked on social media. And then I met him and he was absolutely different than the person I used to text, he was definitely more closed, didn’t talk much. We met again, like 5 times now, and he is more okay with me now, is a little less weird. I like him a lot, he is my buddy, I like talking to him a lot. Now, I have reached a stage where I miss him if we have not talked for like 2-3 hours. I want to talk to him. Every morning I wake up thinking of him and message him first and he is the one I say goodnight before I sleep. And it has just been 40 days of talking. But I know for sure that he is not the guy I want to date.

Can anybody tell me what’s going on? Is it okay, to care for someone so much, want to talk to someone, expect and blush when they compliment you, want to go out with them but still want to be just friends?

 

“Should I stick around and see what happens?”

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So me and my ex broke up 2 years ago but have remained good friends throughout it all. It wasn’t a bad break up, we had just kinda lost the feeling. As weird as it may sound to some people, we still hang out and talk, nothing romantic. We’ve both dated since the breakup, it’s really cool. He’s been there for me through a lot. Recently late at night he text me out of no where and said he wanted to marry me one day.

This really caught me off guard and I figured he wasn’t fully there or he was just messing around so at first I didn’t take it seriously. Then we started to hang out a lot more and he reiterated it to me multiple times. I’ve definitely regained feelings back and he claims he has too. But we’ve talked about getting back together and he says that he really wants to but he doesn’t want to deal with “commitment” and he wants to just “be a teenager” is it right for me to stick around and just see what happens? Do you think he’s being honest about how he feels or is he just messing with me?

 

“He stopped talking to me when he found out my age”

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I met this guy a few months ago. He is 25, I’ll be 18 next week. I mentioned to him my age, but I guess he didn’t hear me. He found out my age on Christmas eve and cut things off (he has a kid and a steady job so I get why.) Since then he was short, purposely ignoring me, etc.

I had many heart to hearts with him, he changed, but yesterday he went back to ignoring me. He just would tell me he’s interested but he would still ignore me,  yet I know he is talking to someone else because of his Snapchat score. I got onto him about ignoring me and he got upset at me and told me he didn’t wanna fight.

This morning I got tired of it. I told him I was putting off talking to other people and it wasn’t fair when he didn’t care. He came back with “don’t stop talking to other people” and told me to go out and have fun. I told him I was going to delete him and that if he wanted to talk when I did turn 18, he had my number. That I needed to let go. He agreed with that. My friends seem to think he was trying to use me for sex. When I first met him he was all sweet. He never did anything I wasn’t comfortable with. Idk if I should message him after my birthday and ask him if he still wants to talk or what? I truly love him.. Please help.

“I’ve got no idea what is going on with my work colleagues”

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Since a year now, this guy who is a manager, complained that a girl, we’ll call her girl A, does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has been, becoming closer to someone we’ll call girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like they are hiding some of it.

Girl B thinks girl A likes the guy, and flaunts her closeness with the guy. But when girl A first met him, she had already mentioned that he is unattractive to her, despite everyone swooning over him. Girl B kept telling girl A about how she feels about getting him. Girl A was and has been indifferent to the situation. But Girl B acted threatened that the guy will like Girl A. Especially because he kept talking to everyone about girl A not liking him, even though he helps her. Continue reading →

“Is he about to leave me?”

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I’ve been with this guy for almost over a year now, and lately he’s been worrying me. For the past few days I’ve had to consistently reassure him that I love him still, and that he’s amazing to me. I have no idea where this is coming from and I’m starting to get worried that he’s going to end things with me.

I’ve asked him if everything is okay between us, and he’s told me that he feels like someone better is going to come along; making me leave him in the process. I honestly have no intention of doing that, I’m still very much in love with him, but I don’t know how to make him believe me. Everything I seem to be saying to him just doesn’t seem to be reassuring him, and I don’t want to lose him.

 

“This long distance relationship is getting too distant”

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So me and this guy have tried to hold a long-distance relationship. We met in the summer ,but we don’t see each other anymore. I had mixed up feelings if I liked him or not. Now I am certain of it. When I first met him though, I was kind of conserved about my feelings. I still am. He never told me how he felt about me though. I told him through a text message that I liked him, even though I wanted to do it face to face but we can’t meet each other at places. I really want to know how he feels about me.

We haven’t spoken to each other in about 2 months. I am trying to forget about him but I like him. We did what any couple did except “that”. I never had the chance though, to ask him any questions about him. Even though he gave me his phone number, we hardly texted each other. At first we texted each other every week, but now it has lessened. I don’t know if he ever liked me at all or just saw me as a one time thing.

He is very optimistic about everything. I don’t know if I should forget about him. I am thinking that next year in summer if I ever see him where we met, I am hoping to have a chance to talk to him. The only problem though is that my mom doesn’t know about it and never knew about him and I. I text him but he hardly texts back. We video chatted sometimes and called each other, but we never knew what to say to each other. I still hold feelings for him but I want to know what he feels about me. . I seriously don’t know what to do.

 

“I like the girl in our friend group”

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I recently went to Uni, and met this really sound guy who I get on with really well, though we obviously don’t know each other too well as we only met a month or so ago. He in turn introduced me to a girl and us three have been hanging out quite a lot.

Now, I’ve developed quite strong feelings for the girl. However, she and this guy are very close, to the point where I’m unsure whether something is going on behind closed doors (he has a long-distance girlfriend, though he constantly talks about breaking up with her). If I want to pursue the girl, what should my course of action be in order to make sure I maintain my friendship with the guy? I would definitely rather remain friends with both of them than jeopardise it for this girl.